One can tear a piece of cloth neatly in two pieces. Most of the time.
A deliberate start of a sharp quick snip, a harsh but effective well placed tear- and the halving will emerge.
Women have been halving themselves since the beginning of time. Turns out our brains are designed to flare and fire and fan out on both sides. I am still staggered at the halved, quartered, splintered, doing and thinking that is required from working mothers.
I am constantly evaluating, recalibrating, weighing the consequences, the cost:
how much I can do in one week
how well will we live that week.
Because costs must be met, food purchased and prepared, clothes and stuff organized and managed. The people in my home matter, they will matter for eternity. When the jobs, new sneakers, and organic apples will not. So I pray for wisdom, ears that hear, to keep my feet placed in both camps without the stumbling and sinking. Because when I do, I have one guarantee response: I sin.
Christ followers know well and feel for certain the duality of being in the world but not of it. Living life in a flesh kingdom but keeping our inner eye trained to walk towards the spiritual kingdom we truly find our stride in.
The more we die to self, Christ’s Kingdom looms with more clarity. Its beautiful, but our lives do not improve in the temporal.
Things become rather tricky, tiring, which often feels terrible.
Once we stop throwing a fit at how unfair this is; we see the actual kindness in this. Feet in both camps. It is never totally comfortable.
That perfect contentment: a fabrication.
Halved, quartered, splintered.
Like going back to work, when I thought I never would until the girls were grown, I don’t regret it. It has improved our lives, to a much grander scope then an increased bank balance.
The decision came as a response to His calling to change the projection my life was in.
The black and white dogma of stay at home verses working has been torn out, like deep rooted weeds over these last few years. I subscribe to no status other than Christ follower. I know it will be changing all the time. It is not a concrete life plan to perfect equilibrium success.
I want to homeschool again, get my masters.
Does it feel to you that everyone is clamoring for a life couch?
Seven step plans to be more______so you can finally______.
American Christianity has become too salesman.
Too exclusive for those in the right program.
I, all broken people, don’t need to buy an updated philosophy, or a successful plan.
We need a healing salve from something outside ourselves.
Then that something directs us, will recalibrate us, provide accurate concise wisdom to make good decisions to start changing our life from broken and blind to healing and seeing.
That somethings is no other than God’s Son, Christ, man and divinity is a messy, bleeding, lying, world.
After all, He is the only one who kept the stride, perfectly, without stumble, sink, or sin, while being in both camps. He did it alone. So we would not be left to wander alone.