old hat


old hat

Back To School: A Well Worn Hat In A Comfortable Setting

 Today was back to school for the house of women.

It feels strange, but in a good way.

Yesterday it was strange too, but in that little niggle of: this isn’t right, what is going on?, way.

All day yesterday  I kept stopping, suddenly pulling myself up, wondering:

“How can tomorrow be school”?

“Where is the end of my rope, fraying surely and loudly in a disgusting house”?

Where are the daughter nerves?

I was not ever around for the night before the big day, but at work till 9:30pm.

How weird is it to write that!

It made me sad, but apparently no one else had a problem with it.

Coming home to daughters in bed, and Tim asleep to The Office going on his iphone, I did the homeschool mom thing and went into our homeschool room to get our weekly schedule finalized and organize which books we are going to use when.


Then going to bed I did the once-in-a-great-while-i-get-crafty-usually-out-of-guilt, thing

and hand-sewed a polka-a-dot name tag with embroidery thread in bed, as the clock crept closer and closer to midnight, on my daughters’ identical $1 lunch totes we got at Old Navy. {I refused to buy “the real” lunch sacks that cost about 12 bucks a piece, after spending close to 50 bucks on two children’s backpacks…no matter how much they complained…this was my compromise since they called bringing a brown paper bag “scummy”}.

Let’s be clear:

my guilt induced midnight embroidery session was not over the cheap lunch totes, but rather not being there to tuck them in and chat in bed on the night before back to school.


6:30 am came much too early and I was back in the saddle again:

desperate for coffee before I had to pack lunches


first day dresses,

new shoes,


“wash the peanut butter off your face”


“yes, you have to get dressed and brush your teeth even though you’re staying home” conversations

shouted a room away while I warm up my coffee for the second time in the microwave.

I walk daughter number three to the elementary school five blocks down the street.

She held my hand the whole time, even in the hallways, even in the classroom with classmates getting an eyeful, and my heart swelled.

I drove the babe across town to her first day of Kindergarten which felt like an old hat with her being in all day pre-k last year since she missed the kindergarten cut off by days.

No tears, no extra long emotional hugs, no worries, not even nostalgia to be honest.

June felt like days ago not months, and my kids like school.


Back in the saddle again with year two of homeschooling for my “big girls”, now in 7th and 6hth grade, and I am as relaxed as an un-schooled hippy mama on weed.

They ate and picked up breakfast and tried to be sneaky and get another episode of Once Upon A Time in while I was gone depositing their little sisters.

We walked into our homeschool room barefoot.



OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA We discussed the year.


We talked about and wrote down school year goals.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

We prayed.

We did Math and History and did some stretching and dancing to One Republic.



A far, far cry from last year when on the second of school, I put my head down on the glossy table and choked out:

“I don’t know what I am doing, I should of never done this”.

None of those feeling or angst or worry.

Comfortable and easy; an old hat.

Not that every day will be that, by any means.

I will have melt downs and wish my big girls were in school too some days, shouting things I immediately regret.

We will sleep in again, miss the bus again. lose the parent permission slip again, and have no bread left to make sandwiches again.

But today was not one of those days.

Today we just did our thing, going to school…all three different establishments, like it was no big deal…an old hat.

And being able to do that, is a big deal, for which I am as thankful as I am shocked.





One thought on “old hat

  1. Very nice post. I can just see you walking through this evening and morning, with love in your heart for your girls. You’ll do this year well, I’m sure of it.


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