…so i just take pictures

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAour sun has been well- concealed, hidden, elusive as a forest fairy or a haunting ghost

sometimes in these gray days i almost convince myself “there’s no such thing as summer”

 

but today as i woke reluctant students from flannel sheets the sky was breaking blue alive with sun

so i took some pictures…

mister bo jangles hungry for the sun too looks like

mister bo jangles hungry for the sun too looks like

 

my nightstand awash in sunglow

my nightstand awash in sun glow

 

up for hours not able to sleep last night with:

heavy heart

doubting mind

fighting anger

fighting despair

fighting the feeling of isolation

fighting the sinking feeling of:

i better get it right

i better do

i better be better

 

but this early pre-dawn  pre-daughter morning as i  drain the last of my coffee from the same porcelain mug i drink out of every morning i know i need to:

be lighter

be joyful

be connected with now

so i took some pictures…

her shadow in bus stop sunshine

her shadow in bus stop sunshine

 

daffodils once asleep now  greeting... bicycles once neglected now reclaimed

daffodils once asleep now greeting… bicycles once neglected now reclaimed

ceramic birdies painted rocks old bricks...my winter garden garb when the flowers are sleeping

ceramic birdies, painted rocks, old bricks…my winter garden garb when the flowers are sleeping

 

red-tipped tulip sprouts and my favorite purple converse

red-tipped tulip sprouts and my favorite purple converse

 

there is so much i can’t control

i can’t understand

i can’t see

but i can choose

i can choose what my eyes can see

and then the heart always has a way of following

even when my mind has become a skipping record…stuck on the same chorus

the eye is the lamp of the body

if your eyes are good your whole body will be full of light

but if your eyes are bad

your whole body will be full of darkness

if then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!

no one can serve two masters

The Gospel of Matthew/Sermon on the Mount/Jesus Christ

so i just take pictures

and its better

the eye is the lamp of the body

the eye is the lamp of the body

Cheers

 

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One thought on “…so i just take pictures

  1. Leah, I’ve had all these same feelings so much, lately. And I’ve finally realized that I need to just fight it. Choose, like you said. You know, I went through so bad things at my church, and it’s taken over a year to realize this, but some things that a leader did and said were basically spiritually abusive. I swung to the farthest side of his thinking…which can be summed up as, you can’t be weak…you can’t have emotions. It’s like this blind faith in God and His sovereignty. So I’ve probably been much too free with my emotions for awhile, now. And I’m learning to find that balance again…of believing God, bringing my thoughts captive, but living fully in HIs grace. Anyway, just thinking of you tonight and praying for you! Love your pics. You’ve actually been inspiring me to start taking more pictures…I just don’t know that I have the courage to post them. I’m too much of a perfectionist and feel like I’m a terrible photographer. 😦

    Like

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