its not what you think…

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{all pictures used in this post are with permission by Isabelle …aka artsyphoto9s at flickr…aka my back up photographer whose camera has cooler features than mine}

I am nothing if not honest on this blog.

I will continue to be honest now that the calender has flipped to August, and I return to manyslices.

July was…a bit of a wreck.

There were pretty moments. Poised and obvious, begging to be enjoyed, like the butterfly above.

But look closely at the picture.

I'll wait.

See the powdery black and orange on her index finger where she held too hard and crushed the delicate wing that just wanted to flap free?

The blueberry stained hands are messy pretty.

That was our July.

I re-read my June 30th post {the last post before my July break}.

I forgot honestly what I wrote about.

Basically I was lamenting life often does not go the way I envisioned things going.  I muster up all my feminine strength and grit and spunk and try to make it so. 

I not only fail. I fall.

I fall into bitter disappointment, anger, confusion.

When the flailing is done, I quiet my soul.  I wait.  I get peace the only place it has ever come from: the word made flesh-Jesus Christ. John 1:1.

June 30th just kept bleeding into July 2012.

But just as the butterfly with tiger markings begs to be looked and enjoyed so our family, this "house of women" as Mr.MS likes to say, drank deep of many of the pleasures that summer has to offer here in upstate New York:

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simple sepia moments on a backyard swing

sizzling light shows celebrating let freedom ring

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chasing chickens at an organic blueberry farm

picking and consuming enough berries to surely do

some gastric-digestive harm

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deprivation of screens leads to exploring

keeping summer from stagnant and boring:

of fancy camera settings

of simple rubber bands on plastic pegs

of garden hoses making lawns into shallow muddy swimming holes

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Our July 2012 was privy to:

Our hometown making national news as powerful tornadoes touched down right smack in our little community.  We were very fortunate and received no damage personally. Also, there were no deaths in our community…and bit of miracle really if you could see the damage for yourself.

My getting into a minor fender bender (my fault) that lead to a $2,800 transmission repair bill.

Mr.MS hydroplaning on a busy highway at 70mph spinning out of control and landing down an embankment; his little honda del sol tucking snugly between two giant trees. No damage to car whatsoever.  He did not even have a whiplash. The police officer who responded, the tow truck guy who pulled him out, and the kind drivers who pulled over to assist all said the same thing:

Man you were lucky.

When you walk with Christ you know better.

My accident left me without a vehicle for nearly two weeks.

The tornadoes left us without power for nearly three days.

Our desktop computer is crashed from the power outage.  Thank goodness for the mac, which is why I have to use my daughter's photos…all of mine were on the desktop pc. {Mr.MS thinks we can recover the pictures}.

And worst of all OUR TOASTER BROKE YESTERDAY!

There are very few chances of us surviving without crunchy hot delicious buttery bread. I mean I have my limits.

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And then there were books.


Books
 

{image snatched from google. sorce from the blog:

http://lonewolfwhistlinginthedark.wordpress.com/2012/04/19/dont-judge-a-book-by-its-cover/}


I came across, mostly by accident, lots of great books this month.

These books gave me an oasis of relief during these last four weeks of daughter noise and mess.

My gooodreads summaries will be shortly coming.

There is this great quote in The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society Book {one of my favourite books} that talks about how certain books have a power to find the right reader at the right time in their life.  I kinda feel that way about all the books I read this month. Books no one recommended.  Books I literally picked up randomly when I had a few rushed moments to myself at book sales and at our local library.

They were as followed:

Enemy Women by Paulette Jiles

The Summer of Ordinary Ways by Nicole Helget

Mr. Pip by Lloyd Jones

I am starting to just dip a hesitant toe into the big fat book that has sat on my "to read" book shelf for over a year: Flannery O' Connor the Complete Stories.

What these novels, memoirs, and short stories all have in common are that they are written with a light touch.

By that I mean they tell a story with vivid detail and slashing truth but almost from a distance.  No dramatic over describing, and lengthy flowery metaphors. The first two books listed that I read back to back used no quotations at all.  I don't know if what I am trying to describe makes sense to anyone but me.  But this is exactly the type of writing I have been trying to nail down.

It has always been know that most writers are not talkers.  So the temptation is to throw up all those unspokens that swim in our head onto scratched paper or pecked out of a computer screen.  But that gets just as tiring as the prattling extrovert relating in detail how they got the wrong tint of blue for their bathroom.

Writing truthful, vividly, with a light touch is what these books gave me, and blessed me with, and hopeful will better me.

I read the book of Isaiah slowly in the King James Bible. Lots of flipping through our heavy NIV study notes Bible I kept near the table as I read. So much of Isaiah is pure poetry.  Underneath the ancient Hebrew prose that is sometimes very heavy and bogged down in the details of ancient middle east military history (not very poetic and seemingly irrelevant yes I know) are such beautiful passages illuminating and prophesying Christ.

I read the gospel of John, my favorite gospel in the King James, which retains the parables and illustrations taught by Christ the best.  Again very slowly.

Mr. MS, who has only given in a few times, over the last twelve years of marriage to my:
try this book honey….I think you will really really like it

Read Hunger Games and loved it.  The next two installments will be coming his way soon.

I read the classic version of The Wizard of OZ to my three big girls.

Another milestone….daughter number three  who isgoing into first grade…staying up for the thick chapter book Mama reads to the big girls.

It was a horrible coincidence that the day we finished the book and night we all rented and watched the DVD The Wizard of Oz, was the night before real tornadoes hit our house.  No joke.

The girls have been reading their chapter books and obliging to write out their book reports in our "books for ice cream" notebook.  Not much reading done by them lately, I have to be honest.  Mostly because every time the ice cream truck goes blaring through our neighborhood- I am broke.  And then of course there was the whole no van thing for two weeks so we can't drive to get any.

However, we have another month to get back on track.  A month that hopefully will be a little more financially prosperous and with transportation.

This is getting long.  Sorry.

I leave you this quote as a closing.  It is where I came up with this post's title- that you probably forgot since it was read like an hour ago- for any of you who are still reading and did not just scroll through my daughter's charming pictures.

Its from Storypeople, an email based reader that drops little stories and funky pictures for your email box each day.  This was today's and it dropped, on this new calender day like Manna from heaven. 

Its not what you think

this reaching across the generations.

There is no effort of will,

no fierce glare in the face

of the sideways dance of everyday.

There is only the quiet house each morning

filled with soft breathing

while you hold your tea

in the cool air & always

that moment when your love spreads

a cloth across the table

& invites the whole day in again

~copy righted by Brian Andreas

I love this.

That is it.

God has brought in what I explained to my daughter as windows of woes to open up on us this month.  Really the last six months.  {Just read my past posts from December on}.

I try, I plan, I seek, I look for signs and wonders.  I self analyze and sink.  I go to bed early, not because I am tired, but because I just want this day to be done with, and my mind to shut off.

The morning always comes.

This quote prompted a fragment of a verse in my dusty memory:

Your mercies are new every morning.

I was not sure of the rest.  Was not sure where it was located, but knew it was in one of those unsuspecting books…something dry and skipped over like Leviticus or Numbers or something.

Looked it up and found it sitting in Lamentations 3:23.

A short book of depressing doom and gloom poetry written most likely scholars believe, by Jeremiah "the weeping prophet", no one liked.

This is how the verses 19-23 read:

Remembering mine afflictions

and my misery

the wormwood (bitterness) and the gall.

My soul hath them still in remembrance

and is humbled in me.

This I recall to my mind,

therefore I have hope.

It is of the Lord's mercies that we

are not consumed,

because His compassions fail not.

They are new every morning:

great is thy faithfulness.

A little bit of studying and I discovered that the original Hebrew word for this book is 'ekah: translated "How….!"

I love that because that was and is my sentiment exactly.

I still don't know, I just know it seems to never be what I think.

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Will be simply dropping off daily photos the rest of this month to show case why this family digs summer.

Cheers




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2 thoughts on “its not what you think…

  1. Missed your posts Leah,wondered how your holidays were going.We had 2 weeks winter hols.Sounds like there was plenty of action,thank goodness for divine protection, right?Your big girl takes some very thoughtful pics(gets that from mum)Very pretty prose from storybook.”Wait on the Lord,his timing is perfect” keeps going through my head when I read of your eagerness to move,I’m sure things will fall into place before you know it.I must be a lot like you,but I’m trying to go with the flow more,ha!Enjoyed a peek at big girl’s flickr.

    Like

  2. Oh my is all I can say. I love reading your blog because I am reminded that there is always beauty to be found, that gratitude changes everything and that faith and perspective save us. I’m glad you are all safe.

    Like

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