What We Hold

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A purple dripping washcloth

A palm branch

A paintbrush

This has been my week.

Lets start with this:

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To say that I am exhausted with this house would be accurate.

To say that I am getting a little obsessed with getting it all done "in time" would be an understatement.

To say that I am finally chill and am just trusting God would be a lie.  Well half-truth.

I trust, but my personality, let us call it, keeps sabotaging the "chill" part.

I said out loud to God, to Husband, Monday morning this week:

"I am not going to obsess about getting it all done on some pre-conceived date that I plucked out of the air, any more.  I will stop being so controlling.  It is out of my hands anyway, and always has been".

Its just that I want to move… to get out debt… so badly. To start living that next stage in the sticks, where surely life will be simpler and happier…right?

Yes and No.

No debt, no neighbors, no ugly thick telephone wires mutilating my photos of trees and sunrises, and in turn shadowy woods to explore, breezy fields to get tangled in, will improve our quality of life.

But life is life, no matter how pretty the view, or what the savings account balance reads.

These hands of mine hold a lot of responsibility.

They hold a lot joy.

But it is really not me holding it all.

The invisible tribune God do the real work.  The cementing Spirit of purpose, peace, and joy.

Father

Son

Holy Ghost

And really isn't that so much better than some dripping roller in a clenched paint-flecked grip?

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Palm branch
(this is sadly not my picture…our palm branches never make it home from church; that is just asking for retinal damage!  I snagged it from the blog kitchen floor diaries  )

We love Palm Sunday in this household.

The girls, because they get to wave like mad all during worship, and if a poky leaf or two happens to make into their sister's eye…whose to say it wasn't an accident?

Mr MS, the drummer, loves it for the fun, very melodic Jewish sounding songs. Those songs build and build to a joyful frenzy with each verse. He gets to keep the cresting rhythm to each one while we sing along to all those traditional songs: Jehovah Jirah, King of Kings and others.

To me, those Palm Branches represent all the noble, sincere, seemingly Biblicly accurate desires the people had for Christ.  They wanted a king.  A king  to solve their big problems in life.  Oppressed for centuries- you can't blame them.  But the Roman Empire breathing down their necks, making their life uncomfortable, reminding them of what it used to be like, blinded them to what He was really giving.  He gave and still gives Grace.  It was there two thousand years ago to a frenzied mob.  It was there today to me as I yell and bang doors because I am so tired, and it is so overwhelming and hard.

This divine Person who did bizarre things, said things that seemed to make no sense, has seemed so removed from the reality of my life at times, is the most unfathomable in His constant love and grace and acceptance towards me.

So I hold the palm branch.  Not waving it to some new sensation who will make my problems go away.  But extending it high, more like a white flag of surrender:  Save me. I don't want to live my life all wrapped up in ME anymore.

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Squeaky Clean.

I go back and forth with "doing Lent".

Did not this year.

However, starting April 1st this household went, once again, screen free.  {Yes I know I am blogging and therefore in front of a screen.}

Part of the negative aspects of spending all your free time working on the house is that the TV/Wii/PC/Mac turn into the perfect free babysitter.

But Mama was right when she said:  "aint nothing perfect or free in life"! {or was that "Mammy"  from Gone With The Wind?}

Anyway.

Our house became a house of chaos.

A house of noise and meanness.

A house were every emotion  possessed in the full spectrum of female feelings roared to be heard.

Without a word, a vote, or family decree I pulled the plug.

I allow very short stints on the computer, that do not include games…more communication or information. {thus creating the perfect blogging loophole…sometimes its good to be The Mama}

This pulling the plug had an almost cleansing effect on our home. Within one day.

The two "middlers" daughter number two and three, started for the first time playing together. Really well. Before,  their only communication was in the form of insults, rude body language, and quick flicks to each others head's when they thought I was not noticing.

They are reading a lot.  Even when I don't tell them too.

Hobbies and crafts that I was forever "suggesting" they do, instead of watching TV, are being picked up and enjoyed again.

Mr.MS shocked me when he told me he wanted to master playing Fur Elise on the piano.  He took lessons for years and the last summer he played, at about eleven, he was assigned to "practice this slowly".  He never did.  Now our own daughter, who has been taking lessons for years is trying her hand at this most hauntingly beautiful piece.  So Daddy and her are gonna tackle it together. They are using the original sheet music his piano teacher bought him…pencil marks and notes and all…that Summer long ago.  Very sweet.  Very full circle and satisfying.

It is inexpressible the difference between the sounds of Fur Elise wrapping its way around the house versus the latest auto-tuned guitar cranked tweener TV theme song…{complete with horrendous laugh track every 6.5 seconds, of course}.

A fresh and clean, more slow and purposeful start to this Holy Week of Easter. This month of newness coming to the Earth.  It has a Lent feel to it.

Like a soak in a claw foot bath.

Simple and real, but with very real dirt still in the murky water.

But that washcloth is always there for us to hold.  He makes us clean, making us new, helping us to be humble with our family when we fail them.  Helping us to see the blessings, the good stuff, in a scuffed up, fallen world.

And it brings joy.  Even if it is a water droplet at a time:  I'll take it.

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Here's to "screen free"…kinda.

Cheers.


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2 thoughts on “What We Hold

  1. Hi there! Glad you found a photo you liked on my blog! Thanks for linking back, too!
    Love all you say here……
    Blessings to you this week before Easter!
    Cassie

    Like

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