sometimes you just need to read a book {and wine and cake}

I left my last post saying I would probably not be blogging a lot because of it being "crunch time" with getting our house ready to be put "on the market" (I say that phrase like 18 times a day, and getting real sick of hearing my own voice spitting out that phrase).

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This has been the pace of my life lately.

And guess what?

I hate it.

And not because of the mess.

Not because of the paint splattering my hair that no one tells me about till AFTER I return from the store.

No, I am pretty used to messes and embarrassing myself in public.

It is that roving eye of critical house examination.

Literally, for the last few weeks, as I stride into each room throughout my day, my eye, like a anal-retentive real estate robot, takes in the glaring little defects:

trim needs painting here

wallpaper peeling here

insulation exposed here

too much clutter here

The eye wont stop taking it in.

Negative focusing makes for a grumbling mouth, makes for an unhappy Mama, makes for a tense family, makes for a family that is not fun.

Of one thing I am thankful.

The sharp sure shafts of truth; piercing as a pin, that found its way into my mind,  through Ann Voskamps book One Thousand Gifts came thundering to my mind.  Mid-stroke,  while painting bathroom trim, I realized why I am so miserable, sharp tongued, and grumbling.  I am unhappy with the condition of my house.  Not because I desire perfection.  No,  I am obsessed with that phantom "buyer" whose own critical eye and disapproving glance stands between me and our dream to re-locate to the country…pond, acres of gardens, golden retriever, chickens and all.

I don't trust that God will find the buyer…will find that house when we need it.

I give all types of lip service…but I have put the responsibilities on our own  weary shoulder, our slumped backs, and calloused paint-flecked-hands.

It's hard.  

It's not a situation that is easily remedied.

I can't be one of those people who say,

"oh it will work out…God has it all planned out"0

As if He will send a host of angels to finish the trim and peeling paint.

Balance.

Not my strong point.

But I was thankful for the clarity I received.

Thankful, that I no longer live my life with that critical eye, never satisfied with what my house looked like.

I wasted a lot of years.

I am thankful for the grace given to me by my husband and family, and God during those years.

So today I read a book: I married adventure by Lucy Swindoll

I made cupcakes and cake with my girls.

I had some wine.

I took pictures.

And now I am blogging.

Cuz I need it.

That is all.

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A sliver of light is all you need to bloom and sing:  oh, happy us; we always have the light.

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fairy kit cupcakes:

i love having girls( I  am now so much more girl-y than i ever was growing up)

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fairy photo shoot fun

Cheers.


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2 thoughts on “sometimes you just need to read a book {and wine and cake}

  1. Interesting — I was saying to Ann this week that when I feel the most out of control, most hectic, crazy, busy… my best remedy is to stop — step back — breathe deeply — savor the moment. Not the CRAZY moment, but THE moment of breathing. Sounds like you did it!! I like it! A lot. And that girl has the prettiest blue eyes I’ve ever seen! hugs from me

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  2. Sugar and spice and all things nice,how wonderful to have 4 girls,it’s slugs and snails this end.That cupcake kit is so cute as is your little miss,gorgeous.Well it looks like you’re making plenty of progress from here.I found paint on my elbow standing at the checkout. I forgot to mention about the bedroom pic,it was from the country living website,you could use a hoop suspended from the ceiling with a net/canopy over.

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