"His family had been so poor; everyone they knew had been poor. It wasn't a crime, but it might as well have been. That's why things got saved, old engines, and tin cans and milk bottles scattered across the lawns and hills: a spell against need, a hedge against want".
"He had tried to protect his son from the things he himself had suffered as a child: poverty and worry and grief. Yet his very efforts had created losses he had never anticipated".
(to see my complete goodreads review on this book, look to the bottom left of my sidebar: its supposed to be on top but I suck at links).
I like these two passages because it reminds me that as we struggle, not in poverty my any means, but somewhere in the large up steam pool of middle- class- single -income -Americans, to provide our children a good life, what matters most. Ease, stuff, flat screens, everyone having their own bedroom, and two weeks at the ocean a year, are not what kids need. They need us. Just us. Even our faults and short-comings, when truthfully confessed, serve our children as God-ordained lesson in seeking grace and admitting fault.
We circumvent our children's own moral development by giving them everything; always making them happy. A parent who is continually analyzing what their child is thinking, feeling, interpreting, when it comes to every interaction with them, is a parent who will inadvertently stunt their own child's moral growth. A moral growth that is to mirror Jesus Christ. Who said "Not my will, but Yours Father". Because if you get sucked into the analyzing and worrying vortex of parenting, the actual work of disciplining ( because that is what discipline is…work) gets dispersed and bogged down as we anxiously thumb through our latest child- raising philosophy book we just picked up at Barnes and Noble.
As a "stay-at-home-er" I have developed my own child~ raising~ philosophy:
Make your world your kids
But don't let your kids ever realize that.
Put too many things before your kids and they will be starved in way or another.
Make your kids everything in your world and they will become self-centered in one way or another.
Only a praying, praying Mother can walk the fine line between the two.
My two cents from a book not even about raising kids, and that I did not even like. How did that happen??